Disproving “should” thoughts is at the core of my practice because of the deep way we believe them to be true. The conviction is acutely ingrained in us, and, thus, we rarely fathom to doubt their veracity. When we don’t follow their suggestions it’s because we believe there is something wrong with us, another built-in assumption. We don’t know how to behave correctly, we are not capable.
Wow. This is so powerful and debilitating. No wonder we all suffer emotionally. But, the belief is inaccurate, despite its popularity. It isn’t true that there are things we should be doing that we aren’t doing. It also isn’t true that things we are doing we should not be doing. Everything we do is the only thing we should be doing. And, therein lies another source of suffering; we are all correct in our actions. If that’s true, then our world is messed up! Enter the two E’s: Evolution and the East.
Evolution imparts we are of nature, and subsequently, our lives are the natural processes that be. There is no purpose in nature, the way we tend to think of purpose and meaning. There is no sense to be made of it. All organisms behave as they do, based on physical laws. There is no good or bad to be judged. Mechanisms of evolution (natural selection and blind variation) provide core morality that presents in the behavior of all species. This is not left out, however, does not necessarily align with our ideas of how morality should be. Nevertheless, how it materializes is as it should.
Teachings of the East have long agreed with that statement: how things are, is how they must be. What is, is. Surrender and acceptance are useful because arguing with reality always makes us the loser. If it is true, that what is must be, then clearly how we act is how we are supposed to act. Included in nature’s “isness” is our behavior.
Though the propensity to believe thoughts is innate, reality is undeniable. When next undergoing pressure from your own self-critical or should beliefs, remember that what is always cancels out belief. Then remind yourself that you are managing every situation correctly.
Jill Eng 