This is my third entry in this series of recording myself each day to get a more personal feel to my posts. Please excuse that the editing is scanty as I am going for a more conversational feel:
I’m finding this morning and lately that this work is the constant understanding that there is just nothing to do to make anything happen in my life. This awareness takes a little bit of focusing in on what I’m trying to say. It is because existence, just the physical existence of my body, which only comes from having been born, is automatically my action. I’ve said it a million times, but because of that, well I guess and more than that, the fact that the source that brings me to my next action is involuntarily the clock changing which is just the planet continually rotating. Whether I want to or not I am automatically moved into my next action. I like to say that my next action is displayed to me in the exact same way the weather is displayed to us visually really. (Or if you were somebody who couldn’t see then sensing it.) But in the exact same way that I see what the weather is doing, in the next and next and next moment I see what I am doing. And if I were to only rely on that to know anything about anything I was ever going to do…it would be enough. And that is what shows me how much it doesn’t matter what I’m thinking about or what I’m feeling (in terms of making my actions happen). I mean all of that is going to happen too I can’t prevent what I’m thinking and feeling from moment to moment. But I can know that with regard to my actions, activities, doings, that the guarantee that the thing that is one hundred percent what causes what I do next (which inherently shows me my decisions/choices), is just the clock changing (the planet rotating). So this deep, deep, deep feeling that “I” have to do something in the classic way we feel like we have to do something to make our decisions, to make the right decisions, to work something out, to work on something, to prepare something, all of that is untrue, a myth. We have to do as much for our own life as we do to make the weather happen. That knowing that there is nothing for me to do to make any decisions in my life is unbelievably liberating. All that is needed for anything to ever happen for or to us (enjoyable or disappointing) is to have been born. The rest is really about fortune…and how we deal with what we see ourself doing. Along with getting everything we do for free comes the reality that we have no choice than to be doing what life has us doing. This latter point can also be emotionally freeing, but I recognize that that may not be the case for all.